Mia asked Johnny how long he’s been looping. He didn’t even blink. $GOON

t.me/goonhubportal — If you know, you loop. If you don’t, we’ll teach you.

“So… how long have you been stuck in the loop?”
Mia leaned over the desk, the glow of twelve open tabs reflecting in her glasses.
She wasn’t surprised by the setup. She’d seen worse. But this was… professional.

Across from her, Dr. Johnny Goon adjusted his towel.
“Seven hours. Hydrated twice. Lost count at Tab 11. Loop integrity is holding.”

He said it like a lab result. No shame. No irony. Just data.

“You ever consider therapy?” Mia asked, smirking as she opened a drawer labeled ‘Edge Tools’.

“I’m in it,” Johnny replied. “This is it.”

This is GoonHub — part science, part ritual, part browser history you’ll never show anyone.

Here, we don’t judge. We optimize.
We’ve studied the patterns. We’ve mapped the tabs.
We’ve seen the eyes glaze and the scroll fingers tremble.

Mia’s not here to entertain. She’s here to educate.
Johnny doesn’t speak unless it’s loop-related.
And you? You’re still reading. Which means it’s already started.

You’re not alone. You’re just pre-tabbed.

Join the only community where tissue is a unit of time and a towel is sacred.
t.me/goonhubportal — Sessions start anytime. Just don’t hit back.