Need help for self improvement/learning

Hello community,
Writing here to ask for some advice, maybe some good reading or good podcasts/YT to properly understand what is wrong and how I can improve on this. I bet there’s a name for this but I don’t know how to search it.

Background.
I started trading on solana blockchain back in October. I have gone through almost all the common mistakes, tried copy trading with different bots, bought many greens and sold lots of reds, blind aped many tokens based on kols and crazy fake volumes, got rugged many times, paid for alpha groups – has been an expensive learning, but all good.

I finally came down to the conclusion that the only way to succeed is to lock in and do my work alone. Dedicated to learning TA, changed my strategy some days ago and from losing 9 out of 10 plays, I actually started making 6 out of 10, which for me, is a huge improvement. I am happy with doing between 2x and 4x, also given the market conditions.

Now, the reason why I am actually asking for help.

I can’t make my plan work if I am aping with more volume – defining volume: 0.3/0.5 sol. However when going with lower amounts, the results are there. Well, aping 5 dollars and getting 10 or 15, it’s not much, but it’s profit and I am ok with it – it’s a result that I never had before, not at least with this frequency. Obviously I would be more than happy to start with 0.5 sol and getting 1 or 2 sol.

As silly as this can sound, I believe there’s somehow an emotional block that affects my rational side, making me hesitate when i plan to ape bigger amounts and when I do, it’s already too late. From there my exit strategy kicks in, collect my loss and move on.

Does any of this make any sense or I am being just silly?

Thank you in advance.