Satirical Breakdown of Real Landlord and Government Failure in New Bedford that Led to the Creation of a Memecoin

https://join.pump.fun/HSag/31oy2kir

“The Rat Infestation That Shocked Absolutely Nobody, A New Bedford as New Bedford Gets Story”

A Satire Based on True Events That Shouldn’t Be True, But of Course They Are.

In what experts are now calling “the most New Bedford event that has ever happened,” a two-year rat infestation was discovered… by everyone except the people whose literal job is to deal with rat infestations.

Residents complained. Kids screamed. Rats get complimentary continental breakfasts and bask in the sun all day.

And City Hall said, “Huh. Never heard of it.”

Classic.

According to four affidavits, photo evidence, and videos that look like the rats were left home alone with an open fridge, the rats were living their best life. They had tunnels, they had nests, they used the bathroom everywhere, they were basically running a tiny rat HOA.

But when the Department of Health finally showed up, only because of police intervention and dog poop drama (again, very New Bedford), they took one look around and said…

“Yup. Definitely not here. Must be coming from… uh… that random vacant lot over there.”

Which is like seeing someone on fire and saying, “Have you considered that the flames are coming from next door?”

Meanwhile, the landlord shrugged like, “What rats?” Sir, your dumpster had a hole big enough for a honey badger to crawl into. The rats didn’t just move in, they had more amenities than the the families paying rent.

And housing court?

No cameras. Because… rats love handling business in the dark! It just makes too much sense. Why record anything when you can just tell lies and vibe?

This whole situation reads like a sitcom where everyone pretends the problem doesn’t exist until someone falls through the patio and a rat skitters by smoking a Newport administering another rat with Narcan.

And the city’s response?

Peak New Bedford.

You know that moment when you tell someone here your car got stolen and they’re like, “Where was it parked?” “Outside.” “Oh yeah, that’ll do it.”

Same energy.

Residents, “There’s live and dead rats and they’re pooping outside, kids play there, and we enter in and out of that area.”

City: “Damn, that’s crazy… anyway…”

The truth is…

The rats aren’t the villains here. The rats are just characters in the show.

The real plot twist is that everyone knew something was wrong, and the people with power did what New Bedford officials do best…

Absolutely nothing until it becomes embarrassing.

This wasn’t a public-health response. This was a group project where everyone waited for someone else to do the work.