🎆 July 4th: Independence? Nah. Thirsty Chad is Still a Slave to the Timeline.

Today we honor freedom. But Chad? Chad is still captive.

Captive to thirst traps. Captive to late-night Telegram replies. Captive to crypto baddies who say, “DM me for alpha 😉” and then send a wallet-draining link.

While the fireworks explode, Chad’s DMs implode.

🇺🇸 The Founding Fathers declared independence. 💦 Chad just declared he’d drink bathwater for 0.003 ETH.

He’s shirtless at the BBQ, watching the rockets red glare while refreshing her Story like it’s TradingView.

He doesn’t want liberty. He wants a like.

So let’s raise a sparkler for the man who gave up freedom for feet pics, attention, and a shot at being noticed.

Happy 4th, degenerates. Thirsty Chad salutes you.

🧨 #FreedomIsAnIllusion 🔥 #ThirstyChad 🍔 #BBQsAndBaddies 📉 #NoGainsJustThirst

Tg: ThirstyChad